Haylee's Birth Story

To start from the beginning, we weren't sure we really wanted to have 4 kids.  4 really is a lot of kids and they each come with different challenges and personalities!  Sean and I both ran the "Warrior Dash" last August and we spent the whole way home from Denver talking about what we should do and whether or not God wanted us to have a 4th child.  The next day I took a pregnancy test and it was positive!  Wasted conversation:-)  But in September I lost that baby that I really believe was a little girl.  It was sad, but God was good and I never slipped into the depression I had experienced with my previous miscarriages.  Now we were back to square 1 trying to decide if we should try again.  Part of my wanted to and part of me was just fine with the three happy, healthy, and very rambunctious little boys I already had.  We had pretty much decided we were done  (although I have to admit I wasn't completely at peace with that decision!) when I found out I was pregnant again.  This time I was pretty sure it was a boy and I was fine with that.  4 boys would be fun, and I certainly wouldn't need anything for another boy.  But than at 17 weeks we found out this one would be a girl and that rocked our world!  Neither of us expected that and Sean was in shock for several days.  He didn't even want to talk about it.  Then we both started getting really excited about how different it would be to have a daughter and how our lives would change.  To be honest, even though I started to collect girl things, I didn't believe it really would be a girl until I held her for the first time and saw for myself that I did in fact have a daughter!

Moving on, my pregnancy was pretty uneventful.  I was sick, but not as sick as I was with the boys.  I was sore but not as sore as I had been in the past at the end of pregnancy.  None of my pregnancies have been complicated, so we again planned a home birth with a certified nurse midwife.  Let me just tell you how thankful I am that I did not have to drag 3 boys with me to the clinic every couple of weeks!  Toward the end I started remembering what it was like to be in labor and I have to admit I was dreading it.  If all labors were like the one I had with Weston, I wouldn't mind (his was 2 hrs from start to finish) but unfortunately Asher took a bit longer to get here and when you are in pain like that for a long time, it wears on you.  I was hoping this one would be quicker but of course there is no way to know what it will be like until you experience it.  I did a lot of praying and preparing my mind that I could in fact do this thing one more time.  In all reality I really had no choice, but I still gave myself a lot of pep talks about how I had done this 3 times before and I could do it again.  I looked back at the baby pictures of my boys and tried to remember how incredibly special it is to hold that little one you have carried under your heart for 9 months in your arms for the first time.   By the grace of God, by the time I hit about 39 weeks, I really didn't care how much it was going to hurt anymore, I was just so ready to be done and meet that baby that I started praying that today would be the day I would go into labor.  God is good that way:-)

Of course, you can never plan these things, but we decided that Sunday, Sept 23 would be a good day to have a baby.  Penelope (the midwife) had been gone but she was scheduled to come back the afternoon of the 22nd and Tyler had that next Monday off school so it would be perfect!  I would be 39 weeks and 2 days so completely full term but not overdue.  I prayed about timing and then I did the Walk for Life the morning of the 22nd.  My mom was over for that and she stayed the afternoon.  We were watching a movie together with the little boys napped when I realized that I was having pretty consistent contractions.  I have A LOT of contractions at the end of pregnancy so at first I didn't really think much of it.  They weren't that hard, but they were coming pretty consistently, so I thought that it was possible it was the beginning of labor but I was far from saying anything for sure.  I mentioned it to my mom and Sean and of course they both asked if I was in labor and I told them I didn't know.  My mom asked if she should stay and I told her to go home.

That night we went over to our friends Sam and Erin's house for supper, but I wasn't hungry.  The contractions were defiantly getting harder by then and were still pretty consistent, but I still wasn't ready to say I was in labor.  After everyone ate, the kids watched a movie and Sean and I took a walk.  I was joking when I asked him if his IPhone had a contraction app.  Turns out there are a ton of them!  So we timed my contractions and they were coming about every 2 minutes and were about 40 sec long.  We walked about a mile and got really cold.  When we got back to the house and sat down, the contractions spaced out to about 15 min.  I had been pretty sure this was labor but after that, I again decided I wasn't sure.  You would think that by the 4th time I would know:-)  We were going to leave the boys with Erin and Sam but at the last minute decided to take them home with us.  I figured if I had the baby at night they would sleep through it and if not, Erin promised to come pick them up for church in the morning.  Dear dear Erin, I am so thankful for good friends like her!

So it was a long night.  Sean and I stayed up till about 11 pm and I was having pretty consistent contractions but about that time they slowed down and I decided the best thing was for us to try to get some rest.  Unfortunately I didn't get much rest, maybe 2 to 2.5 hrs, but Sean got to sleep until 6 which was really nice.  By that time the contractions were consistent enough that I was finally ready to say I was in labor.  We called my parents and Penelope who were also very thankful for the good night's sleep!  Poor Penelope had just flown in the day before from Seattle and she was exhausted and hoping that I didn't go into labor that night!

I was GBS positive so Sean started my IV and gave me antibiotics around 7.  The boys got up and Sean fed them and got them ready for church.  Penelope showed up and got things ready. I had the room mostly set up by then, but she had a few more things to do to be completely ready.  Again, contractions slowed down a  bit but looking back I think I just needed to get the boys taken care of before I could relax and let things happen.  My parents arrived and Erin came about 8:30 to pick up the boys and take them to church.  We hardly ever miss church and it felt a little strange to send them off without us, but I was so glad they were gone!  It takes serious concentration to get through labor and I don't think I could have done it with them there!  I am not sure how people do it with their kids around.  I am just thankful I didn't have to!

Penelope checked my after things calmed down and I was at 5 cm.  Not as far as I had hoped but far enough that it confirmed this was real labor and by the end of the day I was sure I would hold my precious little one.  I got excited at that point to meet her, but at the same time the hours stretched out in front of me.  5 cm doesn't seem like that far but when we are talking about cervical dilation, it could mean hours!  Or it could happen in a matter of minutes.  As much as I wanted to get this over with and meet my daughter, I remember thinking it would be really nice if I could just take about a 3 hr break and take a nap.  I was pretty tired.  Instead Sean and I decided to take a walk.  We were gone for about an hour and even though sometimes it was hard to walk through the contractions, we had a wonderful time talking and just spending time together.  While I was moving the contractions were fairly consistent and usually increasing in intensity, but sometimes I would have a really light one after a really painful one.  Sometimes they would last over a minute and sometimes they would be only 20 sec or so.  It was strange since with all my other labors they came like clockwork and they certainly didn't ever decrease in intensity.

When we got back, I was at 7 cm and I sat on the toilet for a while.  As strange as it might sound it felt strangely good to sit there.  The contractions were getting harder and harder and sometime while I was there my water broke.  It was very convenient that I was on the toilet when that happened:-)  I was relieved because I knew that once that happened things would be over pretty quickly, but oh my goodness, I had forgotten just how much contractions hurt after that!!  I called Sean in and told him my water broke and he calmly informed Penelope and her assistant, Sarah.  I think they expected him to be a bit more animated:-)  He sat with me for a bit and then I told him I was feeling pushy with contractions.  He did get a bit more concerned at that point and suggested I go to the bedroom.  I told him I wanted to stay there for a little longer, and after the next contraction, he decided that it was time to go the the bed and he wasn't going to take "no" for an answer!  He really didn't want to deliver a baby on the toilet!  Can't say I blame him for that!

So I went to the bed and everything was ready.  My mom, Penelope, Sarah, and Sean were in the room.  Penelope checked me and said I was at 9.5 cm and it would be OK if I pushed at this point.  The next contraction I had was really not that painful (compared to what I had been having) and didn't make me feel like pushing.  It was strange.  It is also strange what went through my mind at this point.  I remember thinking that I did not want to push on the next contraction because I knew how much it would hurt.  I tried to talk myself out of it actually and told myself I would wait until the following one before I pushed.  Like 2 minutes would decrease the pain or something.  Anyway, for those of you who have ever been through labor without an epidural know, you really don't have much of a choice at this point, you HAVE to push!  So when the next contraction came, I started pushing and told myself I would just push a little and wait until the next one to push hard!  Again, silly girl, that is totally not possible!  My little push turned into a big push and her head was delivered.  One more push and she was delivered into her daddy's waiting hands.  He immediately handed her to me and she was the most beautiful little GIRL I had ever seen!  She cried right away and pinked up very quickly.  I remember thinking she looked just like the boys (with one major difference of course!).  She was covered in vernix, a lot of vernix!  She kept sticking to the blanket:-)

At this point I was so tired and happy and shaky from just giving birth, it is a bit fuzzy in my head what happened next.  I know that at some point I delivered my placenta which was normal.   Sean cut the cord and somehow a diaper got put on Haylee.  Then I nursed her and she was a pro!  I remember thinking how easy it was going to be to feed her.  I called family and talked to the boys who were hanging out with their friends and weren't as excited as I anticipated.  I felt great and didn't have any tears at all, a first for me!  I ate and snuggled with my girl.  Later the boys came and they were excited to meet their sister.  They each held her and said how tiny she was and how glad they were to see her.  Asher was a bit confused when I told him the baby was Haylee and he kept touching my stomach and saying Haylee.  It took him a while, but I think he finally got it that she wasn't in there anymore and this little human was the Haylee that we had been talking about all these months.

Since then things have been great!  We did have
 a bit of trouble with nursing and I was REALLY sore for a while, but now she is back on track and I am feeling much better.  She sleeps great and I am beyond thankful for that!  We had a ton of help in the first 2 weeks and enjoyed time with family.  Now we are on our own and settling into a routine with a family of 6.  Thank you God for answering all of my prayers and bringing this beautiful baby girl into our family!